Letting Go

IMG_8323[1]It has been awhile since I blogged.  First, because of vacation and Thanksgiving and then I have been super swamped at work.

Last month was kind of rocky for me.  I was very anxious and I didn’t know how to handle how I was feeling but in the last few days, I managed to pick myself up again.  I started to remember what was important to me, well maybe not what’s important but rather what makes rational sense.

I have had all these fears about trust, betrayal, liars, failure, invasion, etc. and for what?  The fear only holds me back from moving on.  Trust is a big issue for me and it’s really something that I need to dismiss.  I can still be myself and be good to people and I shouldn’t have to worry or fear their betrayal because if they lie, cheat or damage the trust that is fine and do you know why?  The reason is at the end of the day, I will still have me. I will still be the person I was and the person I am.  Knowing that I did my best in whatever type of relationship I have whether it be friends, family or romance, I will know that I gave my best, I was honest and I didn’t hurt anyone.

The bottom line is that fear is a wasted emotion.  Rather than being an emotion it’s a thought that manifests into action by taking away action.  Fear has held me back for so many years in many aspects of my life and I am ready to let it go.  I am not going to worry or jeopardize my future because I am afraid of losing, missing, or getting hurt.

If you hurt me, the joke is on you.  Hurting me only shows pain in your reflection.  Lying to me, cheating me, that isn’t going to hurt me, it will hurt you because at the end, you will have lost the person who didn’t do those things to you and I will have the lost the person who did.  I think I win that battle.

I also realized that there are no mistakes.  There are only observers who judge us.  My so-called mistake may be a blessing that only I can see or only you can see.  Life still goes on.  Nothing in life is that detrimental (besides death related choices) that it can’t be fixed or handled or dealt with on a new path.  Just because you aren’t on the road you set out to travel on, doesn’t mean your destination isn’t where you are supposed to be.  Everything we do leading up to this moment hasn’t been made in vain.  If the oxygen is still running through our bodies and we wake up another day, whatever judgement that was passed on us yesterday has been released because we are still alive to do better.

I am not going to let anyone hurt me anymore.  I am not going to be defeated anymore. That doesn’t mean I am fighting the fight, it just means that I am not going entertain the observers.  I am going to do the best I can with what I have and love my final destination because it is my journey and I chose it myself whether it was consciously or not.

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Time Travel [Daily Prompt: A Bird, a Plane, You!]

You get to choose one superpower. Pick one of these, and explain your choice:

  • the ability to speak and understand any language
  • the ability to travel through time
  • the ability to make any two people agree with each other

Photographers, artists, poets: show us POWER.

via Daily Prompt: A Bird, a Plane, You!.

If I had to choose one of the powers, I would choose to travel through time.  With this power, I can still carry around a translator and use my persuasion to make people agree.

Why Time Travel?  Uhm, because who wouldn’t want to see the world in different eras, phases of the earth and I would probably try to alter some things if I could to make things better now.  I would just love to see how people lived in different centuries long ago, spend a few days in each time, in different parts of the world without putting myself in danger.  I think that would be an exhilarating experience.

Travels [Daily Prompt: Come Fly with Me]

IMG_7251[1]Share a story about the furthest you’ve ever traveled from home.  Photographers, artists, poets: show us TRAVELS.  Daily Prompt: Come Fly with Me.

 

I believe the furthest I have traveled was to St. Maarten.  That is the furthest point from New York, I think.  I blogged about it before.

It was beautiful like nothing I had ever seen.  The water was amazing and the weather was fabulous.  It was special at the time but maybe more to me than to anyone else that was traveling with me.  They had been there before and I strongly assume my boyfriend didn’t feel the sentimental value as I did being there with him.  Our first vacation.

We were only there for a day during that cruise.  I was drunk off my face drinking buckets of Buds and barely walked back on my own to the ship.

The only thing I would have liked more of was the sun.  I was afraid I would burn so I put a lot of sunscreen on and didn’t get as tan as I wanted to.

It’s Good To Live Again [Daily Prompt: Mid-Season Replacement]

orange leaves autumn hue picture and wallpaperFor many of us the seasons are changing, bouncing unpredictably between cold and warm. Are you glad to be moving into a new season, or wishing for one more week of the old?  Photographers, artists, poets: show us SEASONS.

via Daily Prompt: Mid-Season Replacement.

As much as I would love to be at the beach and in the sun for the rest of my days, I do love Autumn.  Autumn in New York, though has changed since I was a kid.  It was in-between hot and cold.  The 70-75 degree weather.  Sometimes dropping to the 60-65 degree temperatures but it was okay because it was expected.  Now a days, we have a week of 80-90 degree weather followed by 55-65 degree temperatures.  I can’t put away my summer clothes and I can’t bring out my fall clothes because I don’t really have a clue what this season will be like.

I love the summer.  I love the heat but Autumn/Fall is a nice break.  I can do without winter altogether.  Spring is like Fall so I can’t discriminate.

My favorite part about Fall is its October gloom.  The colors of the leaves as they change and fall to the floor.  The sound the leaves make when they are stepped on.  Crunch!  And the disappearance of buzzing bees and summery insects.  The conceiving of new life, love and mystery to birth come Spring time.

Hoodies and stretch pants, sneakers and boots, blankets and couches, dark afternoons and cuddling.

“Lovers that bless the dark
On benches in Central Park
(But) It’s autumn in New York
It’s good to live it again”
Autumn in New York – Frank Sinatra

Island Chick [Daily Prompt: On the Road]

If you could pause real life and spend some time living with a family anywhere in the world, where would you go? Photographers, artists, poets: show us TRAVELS.

via Daily Prompt: On the Road.

With “a family” not mine?  I rather be alone on a island.  I will spend time on a beach on any island that I will be safe on.

This daily prompts are too similar to each other.  I need new topics.

Escape [Daily Prompt: Standstill]

For a moment today, time stands still — but you can tweak one thing while it’s stopped. What do you do? 

Photographers, artists, poets: show us STILLNESS.  via Daily Prompt: Standstill.

I’d pack all my things and move away with out having to tell anyone.  I would disappear while time is frozen and I would never look back.

Discover

I am sitting on the bus. On my way home early today to prepare for my vacation. My first vacation outside of North America!

Unfortunately, I will not be able to post my daily prompts or anything at all until I return. I will have a brand new journal in hand as I travel to write about all the new things I see and discover. I will have a lot to blog about for you all to read!

I wish upon all my discoveries that I will uncover another part of myself that I hadn’t seen before. I hope that the new scenes I see shine new light on my life.

Here I go!

Leveling Up [Daily Prompt: Stranger in a Strange Land]

image taken from www.squidoo.com

Daily Prompt: Stranger in a Strange Land.

What’s your favorite part about visiting a new place — the food? The architecture? The people watching?

Photographers, artists, poets: show us NEW.

I absolutely love visiting new places.  The feeling I get when I open my eyes, my mind and soul to a world unknown to me is glorious.  My favorite part about visiting a new place is the new experiences I make there.  I enjoy watching how people of different cultures conduct themselves in everyday life.  I compare the ways I act, react and feel in similar situations.

I love the nature of a new place.  Everything is completely new to me.  All that I see, I have not seen in that particular way, shape or form.  Visiting a new place doesn’t always mean everything is completely different from where I came from or where I have been but it is an experience that hasn’t been imprinted in my memory.  It is unpredictable and that is always exciting.

Disney’s Alice in Wonderland, is a good example of traveling to a new place.  I believe that any new place is full of wonder, mystery and danger.  The Mad Hatter was on to something there.  Wherever the road takes you, you create new experiences, the place is full of its own unknown history and mystery for you to discover and of course, in the world we live in, there are always risks with the unpredictable that may ensue the danger we fear.   In a not so perfect world that is inevitable.

I equate traveling to new places, leveling up as one may do in World of Warcraft.  Once I visit someone where new, my mental map fills in, I learn, I grow, I become more fearless of the unknown and it leads to a path to even newer experiences and journeys.

taken from www.etsy.com

Not Far…Yet! [Daily Prompt: Far from Home]

Daily Prompt: Far from Home.

Tell us about the farthest you’ve ever traveled from home.

Photographers, artists, poets: show us DISTANCE.

Well I am from New York and I still live there now.  To date, the furthest I have ever traveled was to Canada when I was 13 years old.  I have family there and we stayed at their house for a visit.  On that visit, we went to see Niagara Falls.  The picture posted is not the picture that I have taken but just in case you don’t have an idea of what Niagara Falls looks like, well here it is!

I also went to visit the CN Tower.  It is the largest free-standing structure in the Western  Hemisphere and when I went to visit in the 90’s, it was the world’s tallest tower but since 2010 that record has been broken.  This was definitely a great experience.

That trip was 15 years ago.  Coincidentally, this current summer, I will be traveling outside of North America!  I am going on my first big trip!  We will visit Bermuda, St. Maartin and two other islands.  I am so excited for this trip,  I absolutely can not wait!!  Upon my return, this will be the farthest I have ever traveled from home.  I can’t wait to blog about my adventure!