Thoughts on Social Media in Today’s World.

Millie:  Ugh…this life….I just want it to be simpler.

Me: Not with all this technology.

Millie: I don’t know if that’s helping or hurting.

Me:  It’s too much knowledge, that is actually hurting us.  Social media is the biggest disaster.

Millie: Yea, I agree with that.

Me: That’s why i cant do it with the IG and FB, I shouldn’t know about whats going on with people who add no value to me and no one should get free access to my life.  You earn that by being someone special or close to me.  Social media leaves you without a guard up, in turn, there is no value on building on a relationship because you don’t need to make the effort.  For example, my mother would be satisfied by seeing my pictures, knowing my status updates and would never feel the need to miss me or feel like she’s missing something.  Why would I give the ease of justifying her negligence?  Same thing with any relationship.

Millie:  I guess i never thought of it that way.  I was just thinking in terms of providing more opportunities for people to be sneaky assholes.

Me:  The problem i feel with today’s society is… there are no boundaries, no secrets and abundance of opportunities to get information you’re looking for without ever having to go to the source and that goes for anything.  Someone might be IN LOVE WITH YOU, look at your pics everyday, knows everything about you but you will never know because he doesn’t need to tell you,  He can just click here and click there.  Without this shit.. men cud be gentlemen, women would be mysterious and you wouldn’t know about the last 10 years of exes!

Millie:  You just made shit real.  lol

Me:  It’s sad but true, that’s why i choose to stay out of sight.

Me: That’s why in the past, such as, I could get a random text asking me how I was doing and have an hour-long conversation about what I am up to from someone i don’t see and has no idea what i have actually been up too who might tell me I am pretty because that’s how he or she remembers me not because of the images i forced on someone’s feed.

Millie:  i have zero argument for your points. lol

Me:  lol

Millie:  They’re all 100% spot on.

Me:  I think about this stuff a lot.

Millie: I’ve never considered that and i don’t think that many people ever have.

Me:  Lol.  No one thinks of that!!!  Because society wants you to believe that social media unites people but it only gives them more of reason to never go beyond mediocre to get what they want,   if something is easy, you’re not winning,  you’re cheating somewhere and there are always repercussions

Millie: You need to post this theory somewhere.

Me: My blog?  No one will listen, no one wants to believe that, everyone wants life to be just that simple.

Millie: I just think it needs to be out there, write it on a piece of paper and staple it to a telephone pole.  You know, to further make your point. lol

Millie: I think they’re such good points and I’ve never heard anyone speak about social media that way.

Me:  Really??

Millie: Yea.  Like I’ve heard reasons why its bad but never those reasons.

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Girls vs Boys [Daily Prompt: No Fair]

Tell us about something you think is terribly unfair — and explain how you would rectify it.  Photographers, artists, poets: show us FAIR.  via Daily Prompt: No Fair.

I think it is unfair that women take on so much more than men ever have to, we are the stronger beings of the two and yet we are mistreated and prejudged.

Let me back up.  I am not a feminist. I am fine with women being in the kitchen and men doing the hard labor if that’s their choices.  What I am saying is that because women have been given such a negative connotation in the past, it is human nature to form a preconceived judgement towards a women.  Meaning, my argument may be less recognized because I have hormones.  Most of time I am overreacting because of my hormones, right?  Men never react or overreact to anything and all their reactions make sense, right?

Let me also say, it is not all women and men at war but merely my observation of what I have been surrounded by.  It’s best if I give an example or two.

Dating.   Automatically, as a women I assume that the men needs to make the first moves and chase after me.  It feels like it is part of our DNA to do it this way.  Is it in actuality the way things or supposed to be?   Do we need to have rules for every aspect of life?  Can’t we just meet, be honest and take it from there?   Why do we insist on the masculine and feminine games?

Fighting.  If a couple fights and the woman is the one who brought this fight into play but her reasons are completely valid, the man will not take her seriously because A. he never wants to be wrong and B. she always needs to bitch about something.  But if the man brings an argument to light, his reasons are automatically valid, the world must stop because he has been bothered and it must be handled in the best way he sees fit.

The point is, we don’t understand each other at all.  We think differently.  Our minds look at the same situation with completely different perspectives but they are both valid.  Does this make either one of us wrong?

We both come from two predetermined mindsets and are taught negative things about each other since the beginning of time.  We don’t know how to talk to each other or treat each other especially when there is an issue.  It is a guessing game turned war zone.

I don’t think it is fair that we have been turned slightly against each other by society since the beginning of time.  It is unfair that we can’t go back in time and change that.  It is unfair that it will forever go on that way no matter how “powerful” a woman can get.  In the world’s eyes, a woman is the weaker link.  That is unfair.  We are strong.  We birth children, work hard labor, raise other human beings, hold families together and balance this all while trying to be great wives.

Men you work hard but you don’t endure the physical and mental changes that a woman does.  You don’t have to balance hormones and sanity.  You don’t have to suffer carrying life around for 9 months and then go through such agony to get it out.  You’re body doesn’t have a mind of its own.  Women are strong because we endure a lot.  I am not saying we should be equal or one should outrank the other.  I just think we deserve the recognition and respect for who we are.  I think that would be fair.

Oh yea, and let’s try to get along because I still love ya!

Reflections [Daily Prompt: Regrets, I’ve Had a Few]

What’s your biggest regret? How would your life have been different if you’d made another decision?  Photographers, artists, poets: show us TURNING POINT.

via Daily Prompt: Regrets, I’ve Had a Few.

“Regrets, I’ve had a few but then again too few to mention.”Frank Sinatra

Regrets.  Regrets.  Regrets.  I never looked at my decisions as regrets about physical encounters and partying mishaps.  What I do regret are the choices I made within my mind to be the certain ways that I am.  It doesn’t come with birth.  You train yourself at a young age to be who you envision is the person you should be.

I wanted to be strong and prideful like my deceased grandfather, Louie.  I wanted to be unselfish about all that I could because my mother was so selfish.  I didn’t want to give the world a chance on trust because the person I trusted most betrayed me so I made myself believe that no one would ever love me or have good intentions concerning me.  I wanted to be powerful and invincible like my father.  I wanted to be as sexy as I possibly could because I saw the relevance it had on my grandmother, Fanny.  I wanted to be loving and nurturing because my Nonna was so neglected of love and I wanted to show her that there was someone out there who will love her and let her know about it.

I regret not taking the time to know myself because I was more concerning with imitating the strength of members of my family and rebelling against the traits like left scars on me.  I regret not giving myself a chance to be me without someone else’s reflection in the mirror.

I see why I don’t like what I see because it isn’t me.

We Never Met [Daily Prompt: Pants on Fire]

What was the last lie you told? Why did you tell it? 

Photographers, artists, poets: show us FAKE.

via Daily Prompt: Pants on Fire.

It is always hard to think of the last “anything”  I did.  I always refer to the past because I guess my long-term memory is better than my short-term memory.

So let’s go back to summer 2001.  I told one of the biggest lies I could remember.  At that time, I was 16 years old.  I had been seeing an ex boyfriend on and off all that summer but I was also dating around.  He wasn’t aware of it.

It was all fun and games until I met someone who my on-again, off-again boyfriend indirectly knew from a mutual friend.  I will never forget that night.  He had beeped me ( I know, right, I had a beeper) and I called him back only to have him ask about the mutual acquaintance to which I was unaware he really knew about.

I was at my friend, Kristy’s house and she had lived a few doors down from Anthony (the guy I had been casually seeing behind my ex’s back).  Coincidentally,  Anthony’s neighbor was the mutual friend of his and my ex.  Soon after, my ex boyfriend showed up in front of Anthony’s house and told me to walk over from Kristy’s so he could get to the bottom of it.

My ex, Anthony, Kristy, Anthony’s neighbor, my best friend Melissa and I stood in the street as I was confronted about hanging out with Anthony.  I told my ex in front of them all,”No, I had not.”  Anthony looked at me and said, “Are you kidding me?   We have hung out a few times”.  I looked at my ex and I looked at Anthony dead in the face, “I have never met this guy in my life.  Your friends are lying.”  Without a wrinkle, without a smirk, a crack, tear or a wink I stood my ground and insisted that I had never met Anthony in my life and that this was the first time I had even heard of his existence.  My ex pressed me for a while about it and I refused to budge.

My ex finally left and the group had dissipated.  I walked back to Kristy’s with Melissa and they had to be in awe of the lie that I had told.  Whether my ex believed it or not, my response had been so believable because I had believed my tale.

Til this day, I look back and think about that night.  I can’t believe the straight face I had telling someone that I had clearly spent time with that I had never met him before in my life.  The look on his face in disbelief that I could look him dead in eye and tell him that I did not know him.  It is funny now but walking away from that I was so angry that I had been interrogated and caught up in that.

Ah, to be young!

Lil’ Bro [Daily Prompt: Pat on the Back]

Tell someone you’re proud of just how proud you are.IMG_7130[1]
Photographers, artists, poets: show us SUCCESS.
via Daily Prompt: Pat on the Back.

Normally, I would go on and on about how proud I am of my dad for doing all the great things he has done and still does but there are also other people in my life that I am very proud of and love more than my own life.

Louis is my brother.  I will never forget the day he was born.  I was 3 1/2 years old and thanks to my phenomenal memory I remember not knowing who I would be meeting in the hospital after he was born but literally praying, “please let me have a brother, please please please let me have a brother.”

I remember being a toddler myself but holding him as my mother sat beside me showing me how to feed him with the bottle.  He was so little and so was I.  Of course, I felt some jealousy when the attention that was solely towards me had to be shared with him but I adjusted.  I loved him so much already even though technically we were both babies.

He is the first person I have ever watched grow up in front of me.  Of course through the years we fought like all siblings do and we went through those awkward hormonal times in our lives at different times and didn’t see eye to eye for a while but none the less, I would die for this person at any time, at any age.IMG_7125[1]

Now he is approaching his mid 20s and I am in my late 20s.  We have grown a lot closer over the past year and it has never made me happier to get the calls and texts from him.  We don’t spend a lot of time together but when we do we always have fun and laugh.

With the background said, I am proud of him.  He has accomplished a lot in his life so far.  He manages a restaurant, he is on his way to being in the academy for the New York Fire Department, he has completed his Bachelor’s Degree in Finance at Baruch and he is such a well-rounded man now.  We both have been through a lot with the abandonment of our mother and we both handled those events differently.  He has succeeded.  He remains positive and he lives a great fun life.  He is going for his goals and grabbing them by the balls.  He isn’t perfect, of course but in my eyes he is pretty damn close.  I am proud of his triumphs through adversity and I am proud to be his sister.  I love him more than anything and I always will.  I will protect him however I can and be there for him in any way that I can.

Hey Lou, I don’t know if I ever told you but I’m so, I’m so, I’m so proud of you.

Top Ten: Clingy

Ever have a guy/girl come on too strong?  It has only been a few weeks and you’re feeling the pressure?  Need to know the signs?  Sometimes little mental red flags aren’t enough.  You need a list that confirms you are not crazy and he/she is.

 

Take a look at the Top Ten ways to know your new guy or girl is too clingy.

  1. Sends you a text right after you give him/her your number saying something ridiculous about how you’re right next to each other.
  2. Calls you the day after you met to invite you to an intimate family party.
  3. Wants you to meet the parents after the second date.
  4. Brags how his parents know everything about you already but you have only hung out together 3-4 times in a 3 weeks span.
  5. Uses the word “we” when you are obviously implying “I”.
  6. Locks you in by offering lavishes gifts and vacations before you even get to know each other.
  7. Gets crazy mad if you go out with your friends and don’t invite him to come with you.
  8. Tells your friends how obsessed he/she is with you after only 2 weeks of dating.
  9. Will not leave your side if you are out in public.
  10. If your new guy or girl, goes psycho bananas about the time you didn’t spend together after only a few weeks; change your number.

“We Need To Talk” Top Ten

So many times in our lives, I am sure we have heard from one person or another,  “We need to talk next time I see you”.  I can’t help but ask myself why that has to even be said.  Wouldn’t it make more sense to just talk when you see the person without giving them the suspenseful trailer version of the conversation to come.  I don’t want a preview to that type of suspense because if you need to talk, we are going to talk now.

Here are the Top Ten things thoughts that go through a person’s mind when they hear, “we need to talk”:

  1. Oh no, now what?
  2. Shit, what could we possibly need to talk about?
  3. My heart is racing now and I have so much anxiety, why can’t he tell me now?
  4. Hmm, what did I do this week that could have gotten me in trouble?
  5. Wait, maybe he found out about.
  6. But that was so long ago.
  7. Oh no, maybe it’s something he’s confessing.
  8. What did that little bastard do?
  9. Let’s see, he worked the last 4 days straight, he was off before that, where was I?
  10. Oh damn, I have no idea, where are my keys, we are doing this right now!?

idlehearts.com

Top Ten Bestie Don’t’s

  1. Under no circumstances, unless discussed with your bestie, should you ever talk to her EX boyfriend/girlfriend even if you were friends first.  Because if that is your best friend and you love her you wouldn’t want to associate with someone who broke her heart.   Would you?
  2. Don’t use social media as an excuse to piss your friends off.  Open your mouth.
  3. Don’t talk to your bestie’s significant other more than you talk to her.  No matter how many things you may have in common.
  4. Don’t talk or befriend your bestie’s potential love interest.  It causes unnecessary interference.  Let your girl do her thing…alone.
  5. Don’t steal the spotlight on your bestie’s special day because you are feeling insecure and left out.
  6. Don’t get jealous, get real or don’t be friends.
  7. Don’t ever think your bestie is copping your style because most likely you have A LOT in common, that’s why your friends so embrace your similarities.  Everyone loves a set of twins.
  8. Don’t let guys come between your friendship.  When your adults, relationships happen and they can get serious but it doesn’t mean that your bestie cares for you any less.  Move aside and embrace her happiness because she will for you.
  9. Don’t have sex with a dude that your bestie really liked.  Even if the two were never in a relationship, it probably wasn’t because she didn’t want to be in one.  It is unforgivable and will bite you in the ass.
  10. Don’t EVER under any circumstance use personal pain and heartache against your bestie in a heated fight or even the ending of the friendship.  This is/was your bestie, there was love and trust there at one point so don’t ruin your past with ugly words of the present.

From Polyvore.com

Should You Jump? [Daily Prompt: Earworm]

Pitiful is the person who is afraid of taking risks. Perhaps this person will never be disappointed or disillusioned; perhaps she won’t suffer the way people do when they have a dream to follow. But when the person looks back-she will hear her heart – Paulo Coelho

Lately, I have participated in the Daily Prompts, so today, it took me awhile to get going with this post.  I have a hard time thinking of an interesting topic to write about that is why I like the Daily Prompts because it gets me going.

I have thought a lot about my life up until this point and the risks I never took.  I realized that all those times I was playing it safe, I risked losing a completely different outcome of my life.  How many roads less traveled that I turned away from that would have change the course of my entire life?

Recently, I thought back to my life in college.  In my 3rd year of college, I wanted to study abroad in Italy. I researched it, filled out the forms, requested and received the recommendations from professors but I never went.  I am always thinking to myself, “at what point could my life have taken a different path?”  I just figured out, my choice to give up studying abroad was one of those crucial points.

If I would have left to study for a semester in Italy, I would have experienced life from a new perspective and I would be on a completely different path than I am now.  I would have missed out on certain relationships, strengthened existing ones and made new ones.  My love life could have dodged a few bullets and I would have different scars for different reasons.  Not to say, living in Italy for a semester would have stopped me from having negative experiences but I may have learned different lessons and been around a different caliber of people.

Why didn’t I go?

I didn’t travel to Italy because I was insecure.  Truth be told, I was in a very unhealthy, abusive relationship.  I didn’t go because of him but I really didn’t go because of me.  I realize that he could have very well influenced and threatened to end the relationship in which case he did (even though he was away at school, 3 hours from where we lived) at the time I didn’t want to jeopardize that relationship, it was the risk that really scared me.  I would have went alone to place I had never been, I would have lost my boyfriend (who I had emotionally never even had) and I would have went way out of my comfort zone.  So as much as I can hand out the blame to the ex, I must take ownership for my fears.

Now I sit at my desk, thinking about all the risks I didn’t take and how that risked my life to be on the path it is on.  A path that I should appreciate because it is mediocre and just cutting it but a path that I don’t want to be on.  I see now that sometimes you have to just jump even if you don’t know what it is you are jumping into and you can’t give anyone the power to alter your life.  Take responsibility for your own decisions and decide for yourself what path you want to be on.  Others are welcome to share in your ventures and your happiness if they choose but you are stuck with you so you might as well take your own side and go for it, whatever it may be.

 

Daily Prompt: Earworm.

Write whatever you normally write about, and weave in a book quote, film quote, or song lyric that’s been sticking with you this week.

Photographers, artists, poets: show us INSPIRATION.

Fork in the Road [Daily Prompt: The Road Less Traveled]

 

a moment in your past where you had to make a big decision. Write about that other alternate life that could have unfolded. 

Photographers, artists, poets: show us OTHER.

Daily Prompt: The Road Less Traveled.

When I was 14 years old I had to decide which parent would be better to live with.  This was not because someone asked me to but it was because outside of the drama, I was the only one who actually realized I had a choice at that point.  The judge actually decided my fate anyway, calling my mother unfit to have custody and all visitation needed to be supervised but before that verdict, I had to make the choice mentally and emotionally on my own.

I had two choices, one choice was to live with my mother, who wasn’t really concerned about my well-being at the point because she was so wrapped up in her own life and individuality and the second choice was to stay with my dad, who was strict, enforced rules, curfews and was strict overall.  Now, if I would have left with my mother, I would have been able to do anything I wanted like staying out really late, hanging out with anyone I wanted, no one to check up on me or check in, sleep out anywhere, no questions asked and it would probably have been the time of my life but I would feel empty and I would miss my dad.  If I stayed with my dad, I would have to be home after school, I would have responsibilities, obligations and I would have to follow boundaries and limitations that were specifically set for my dad.  For a 14-year-old girl, the decision would be easy.

I chose to stay with my dad and so did the judge who granted him full custody but mentally I had made up my mind and I never felt like it was a mistake.  It turned out my  mother wasn’t interested in staying in contact with us anyway because it has been 13 years since I have been able to be in the same vicinity as her.  Follow a child’s intuition, I suppose.

I do feel that I chose a road less travel because it wasn’t the easy way, it wasn’t a short cut to being an adult.  I know that if I would have chosen the alternate life with my mother, I would have grown up really fast, made a lot of mistakes and would not be sitting here to tell about it.  Til’ this day, I know that I made the right decision in my heart and my father sacrificed a lot and worked really hard to make me the person I am today.

If I was given the choice to take the road less traveled again, I would.  I will never veer off this track.