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Tyrese Gibson – Compartmentalization Part 2 (Must Watch) “LOYALTY HAS AN EXPIRATION DATE”

Part 2 from Tyrese Gibson. Words of wisdom about taking control of your own life. What’s on your menu? Do you like what is served at your table or will you send it back? It is always your choice. You need to change your mind to change your life! Preach!

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Cruella Deville [Daily Prompt: Wicked Witch]

Write about evil: how you understand it (or don’t), what you think it means, or a way it’s manifested, either in the world at large or in your life.  Photographers, artists, poets: show us EVIL.

via Daily Prompt: Wicked Witch.

I used to believe in the innocence we all possessed and how pure we all could be.  A long, long time ago.  If you assumed it was in my adolescence, you would be correct.

As you grow older and you experience how much pain can be construed, all those beliefs you had a child seems like a far away in the distance fictional memory.

I don’t know if I understand evil in the sense that I know why it even has to exist, seriously but I have seen what it can do.  It isn’t the physical world that possesses it either.  People are mean.  They show us evil.  They are the examples that not even words can describe.

There are different evils too.  Some worse than others but all the same if you are participating in an action that hurts someone somewhere.  To me, evil is its least lethal form is just simply taking advantage of another person.  Looking at a person who has let their guard down and opened their soul to you.  Taking that precious gift without appreciation and diminishing it by your own selfish agenda.  That to me is evil.

No one likes an anti-bacterial, anti-itch spray on an open flesh wound.  And I say that because, when you open your heart to someone and you let your guard down, your heart is, figuratively speaking, exposed.  When someone hurts you deliberately or not even deliberately but takes that exposure for granted it burns, it stings and it makes you feel like the world is an evil place, in turn, stitching up your heart with a thicker thread.

Then of course, there are the people who kill, hurt children, adults, steal, lie, and cheat.  And the other evils that are considered more natural such as natural disasters, sickness and to some people, death.  I do believe all of what is here in this world has been created by us in some way, in some form and maybe not right now but over time.

So remember the world isn’t an evil place, it is you and I who can’t learn to love each other more than we love ourselves and until then, evil will grow until we destroy ourselves.  It won’t be the world’s fault.  It will be ours.

The Fight Of Life

Sometimes you feel lost and you find your way home and sometimes you realize you never had a home to find.

The Lord sends us signs, red flags, white hats and snowballs but it’s up to us to use them to better ourselves.

No one said life was easy. No one knows where we are going but sooner or later we will find out what we have been fighting for.

Dearest Autumn

Dear Autumn,

September has arrived and without fail I get the same old feelings. The feel of wild summer’s end and falling into comfortability.

Last year at this time, I was breaking an old relationship and moving into my own apartment for the second time. It was a bigger place and somewhere I could start fresh. I love moving. It feels like letting go of the past.

Fall always feels like a new beginning for me. I am sure that is a common feeling for most because it is reminiscent of school starting its new year. I love how I feel when a subtle cool breeze touches my face. It bids farewell to the hot crazy days of summer and welcomes me with open arms for a chance to start over.

It is my favorite moment on earth. Seasons change and with it so do I. We live our life in seasons. Episodes of events and experience that soon pass us by and take us to our ultimate grand finale.

I am not ready for my series finale. I have so much I have to do in this life. I am going fight for everything I have ever dreamed of and never let life’s disruptions defeat me. I will not be defeated by pain as I thought I once would be.

Growing up is a process. It takes a long time to understand that you have a specific purpose. I will tell you it is very difficult to get there but I know once I finally figure it out, all my hardships and inner demons will have been worth every struggle and fight. I am a fighter. I feel weak but I overcome everything that comes at me.

What I feel that is most important in life is love. It is not the word so much as the action you use to display it with. I have so much love inside of me. I want to share it desperately in its most vulnerable state without being afraid of disappointment or abandonment. Sometimes it is difficult but sometimes it takes the right people in your life to show you that it is okay. Everything is going to be okay.

So I welcome the beautiful colors of Autumn. Fall onto my face and fill me with complete happiness. Empty my mind of negativity and start anew. See love in its naked form and be free.

Thank you for seasons. Thank you Autumn. You are beautiful.

Tear Drops

There are so many things you want to shout out into the universe but you know your message is only meant for that one person who needs to hear it.

Sometimes you want to scream out and cry for no reason because you are scared of the world around you.  You have seen what it can do, the good and the bad.

It’s frustrating to live your life in fear of pain.  Somehow you can never get used to it.  You never feel like you can adapt to it.

It is so difficult to be positive when you have been hurt so many times.  Once you feel yourself slipping into vulnerability how do you stop the familiarities that have come with it before.

We all have our evil demons.  We all have our insecurities.  We certainly all at one point or another are face to face with what we fear.

Why is it that I worry?  Why is it that I think so negatively?  How do I make it stop?  How do I let go of the fear of losing?

The worry and the fear only attracts the worry and the fear.  If I know this, why have I found it so difficult to stop the cycle?

I have so many questions that go unanswered.  I have so many high hopes for my life but my fear hides the ambition in a drawer underneath all things unimportant.

Emotionally, today has been difficult and only I can understand why.  So why can’t I?

Sacrifice is Love

Here is your form for the prompt:  Kyrielle Sonnet.
Prompt Topic: Love
via Thursday Poetry Prompt #14.
 
 
Sacrifice is Love
 
Two lovers died tonight.
Together they sipped glasses of potassium chloride.
To others their love was unjust,
to each other, their deaths were a must.
 
In a jungle of segregation,
they were forced for permanent separation
one that they both could not adjust.
To each other, their deaths were a must.
 
They decided to take a firm stand,
held glasses of sorrow in each hand
and as they both had discussed
to each other, their deaths were a must.
 
Two lovers died tonight,
to each other, their deaths were a must.

Single Ladies

Women-Men-And-Love

Dating, hooking up, mingling, searching, finding, loving and hating significant others, oh my!

Recently, I have had the pleasure of being the only female in a relationship out of the all my friends.  I am not sure how I feel about it but I know I have a lot of opinions about the choices of guys that all my friends pick.  I think I am going to make an official handbook on dating.  “Dating Carefullee”  We will see.

Now, let’s get down to business.  Being single seems like a lot of fun when you are in a relationship until you’re single than it’s insane.  I watch as all my friends put on their Friday and Saturday bests, practice what they are going to say, what the game plan is and scope out the scene for any half way decent looking guy that even looks in their direction.

Here’s the thing ladies, stop searching, stop looking and stop picking up guys!  There has been a lot of confusion lately with the unspoken notion that women are supposed to chase men now.  What is that about??  Woman have become so aggressive and because of that men, in turn, are definitely turned off and shy away because ladies, you are intimidating them.

woman_vs_man

A man needs to court a woman, he needs to feel like she is unavailable and when she does allow him to see her it isn’t taken for granted.  Instead, the texts and the calls, the “what are you doing later?” “I’m bored, want to come over” “let’s meet at a bar” is what women condone and participate in.  What happened to dates?  You know, the outings when a guy sets aside his personal plans and interests, requests your time, picks you up, takes you to a public place of his choice, pays and hopes that maybe you will kiss him at the end of the night but doesn’t get pissed off and think he wasted his time if you are uncomfortable with it.  No, now we have, let’s meet at this bar and hang out, come sleep over and get out.  No wonder why there is so many divorces, so many mistakes and so many broken hearts.  At the end of the day both men and women are both searching for the same thing!  A suitable companion who they can love and receive love from.

Man courting a woman

Man courting a woman

Again, I ask, where is the respect for each other?  There are so many games.  Stupid games.  Don’t get me wrong, there have been games from the beginning of time but it wasn’t this hard and it is because the roles are changing and we are losing respect for one another.  A man who really wants to date a woman goes through leaps and bounds to get her, regardless if the man looks ridiculous and you know why, because ladies, a respectable woman is worth it.

A man always keeps trying

A man always keeps trying

If you had to be a contestant on a show that offered a prize of 1 billion dollars, you would look as dumb as you had to, to win that money.  Why would this be any different?  A grown man, looks at a woman and asks himself, “Is she wife material?  Will she make a good mother? Can I trust her?” among other things I am sure but those thoughts are in there too.  So, if he knew for sure that a woman was all of those things; looking ridiculous and even being turned down at first would not stop him from claiming his prize and making his future however he envisions it.  To a man, a good woman is worth everything he has to offer and everything he has to give.  Times may change but we all have the same purposes to become one and reproduce.  The man holds his responsibilities in that and so does the woman.

The more aggressive women get, the more confused the men become.  Now, they don’t know how to act anymore because instead of pursuing a woman they are being pursued constantly which begins to make them lazy and therefore, changes the way of dating and relationships.

Man%20and%20Woman%20relationship

Men are very simple, this being said to hold no offense to men but they are visual creates, they see what they like and they either go for it or they don’t.  Don’t get me wrong, men will sleep around and not think about anything more than that at times but this is really based on the men and women who are trying to settle down and do some serious dating.

Bottom line here is, let men pursue you and YOU decide whether or not he is worth YOUR time.  Don’t win his affection, he must win yours, you are the prize here not him and believe me he knows that.  When you don’t value yourself, men sense that and that is when you get a guy who makes you believe you have to win him over.  It just isn’t so.  Women are to be won over and courted properly.  Women have lost their sense of value and respect for themselves because of how society as portrayed an independent woman.  But an independent woman can still be independent without the aggression.  A woman can still be a woman and succeed.  Many feminist and strong woman think that we don’t need men and we are okay on our own but they act as men.  Why should woman give up their rights, femininity and their entire makeup to gain independence.  A man doesn’t need to do that.  A woman can be a strong woman and still respect herself, still require respect from others and still be a pretty woman.

old-woman-and-man-in-love

Oh, What a Tangled Website We Weave [Weekly Writing Challenge: Love in the 21st Century]

Weekly Writing Challenge: Love in the 21st Century.

Although, I do not have a lot of experience with online dating or meeting guys online, I can give my thoughts on how the 21st century has affected love.  Whether you met a significant other online or on line at the grocery store, the internet’s unforgiving access to social life will interfere and I haven’t seen one case where it has interfered for the better.

Let me tell you a story about a girl who started dating a guy when America Online was the only real access we had to profiles and the outside world.   Well, when beepers were fading out and cell phones will getting the spotlight, this was perfect for young teenagers to keep tabs on their boyfriends and girlfriends because what is better than being able to call someone whenever you thought about them or find out where someone was located at all times, right?  Well that is what she thought anyway.

It started out when Billy received his very own cell phone.  Lisa knew all the people who would be contacting him on his phone since the phone was so new and they had all the same friends.  When the phone started to ring and the caller ID showed a different number, well that was a game changer.  Who was it, she thought?  Since everyone who had voice-mail at the time thought that their passwords should be the month and day of their birthdays in almost every case, it was very easy for Lisa to hear the voice-mail of the person’s call that he deliberately missed.  She came to find out it was a girl that he had met on vacation who he had been having a side relationship with for quite some time.  This is one example of how technology had interfered whereas without the cell phone, less information could be spread and figured out.

Situations had been resolved and years have passed but Lisa and Billy still maintained a relationship.  Regardless of the disaster, they tried to move on.  Now we come to the age of “MySpace” and “The Facebook” when “The” was included in its original name.  Hesitant at first, Lisa signed up for her accounts in this new world of social media.  Billy went off to college about three hours away but they remained in a relationship.  Lisa befriended mutual friends of theirs and ventured out into this world of information, profiles, picture albums, statuses, etc.  Upon her exploring the worldwide web of Facebook, she comes across a mutual friend of her and her boyfriend’s picture album that he had just posted.  There were so many pictures from recent frat parties and outings.  She browsed to see if there are any good one’s of Billy, only to find a picture of two girls posing and smiling for the shot with Billy in the far back corner of the picture kissing another girl up against the wall.  He had been caught.  He had no idea that he would be in the background of a random picture taken at a party.  Thanks to the internet, he had been caught.  Well a simple right-click and save of the picture and re-posting it on her American Online profile album with the caption, “Take a look at my slick boyfriend being caught red-handed cheating”.  Not a good day for Billy.

Well, one can only assume that the relationship was not a match made in heaven but that is here nor there.  Coming from an era where we didn’t have unlimited access into all these lives and then turning on the computer to a world of information, we can certainly see difference in relationships and how it taken a toll on love.  Whether or not, a significant other will lie or cheat is not the concerning factor but it is now brought to a brighter light for those you will now.  We see a lot more people finding out the bad behavior of others because of an internet slip up and in some cases it has ruined relationships.

In the case of Lisa and Billy, it only brought to light all the reasons why that relationship would never work.  So, you may like having more answers at your fingertips but it will come at a cost.  What we lose in the 21st century is the oldest saying in the book and in some aspects of life, it is what we really need, is the notion that “Ignorance is bliss”.

“But just remember, some come, some go”

Marilyn Monroe

“This life is what you make it. No matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes, it’s a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you’re going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends – they’ll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything – they’re your true best friends. Don’t let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they’ll come and go too. And baby, I hate to say it, most of them – actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up because if you give up, you’ll never find your soulmate. You’ll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.” ― Marilyn Monroe

I find this quote to be very reassuring, especially the way I have been feeling about all my relationships and life lately.  I have become so weary of the girls who have been my “friends”.   As Marilyn said, “…just remember, some come, some go” and I guess I forgot.  Relationships with anyone whether it be with a man or a woman, with a lover or a friend, it is rough.  You never really know why someone stays in contact with you.  Do they have a reason besides enjoying your company or enjoying your presence?  Why does one become a close friend?  Can you blame it on routine or habit?  Boredom?  Are people sincere anymore with their gestures?  And most importantly, do I over think it or do you under think it?
Eh, I guess it is quite a lot of effort to even ask these questions why but for me, I pay attention to detail.  Why else are we here if not to understand the breakdown of every aspect in life?  Break it down, analyze it and do it again in a different way.  Try out every possibility and find the best result.  Sometimes I feel like we occupy our minds with technology and devices, feeling that it is more important than concentrating on the relationships we have in our lives and maybe that is why we have a majority of toxic ones.  I find life to be special and not something that we should take advantage of and with saying that, doesn’t mean I don’t take advantage of it but it would be nice to be more conscious of that so I didn’t.
“…because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.”  Marilyn was right, there is so much in this world to be smiling about, so why don’t we?  There is always something to stress about but there was always something to be thankful for so why does the stress outweigh the smiles?
I guess I am just going through something emotionally right now and I am questioning all my relationships and the individuals’ loyalty and motives.  My past definitely plays into my present but at some point the past has to disappear and the present has to develop as if there was nothing to compare it too.
I have never in my heart considered another female, a best friend.  Yes, I had long time friends and good friends but never considered them to be known as a “best friend”.  I know it is because I was teased and bullied a lot growing up by the other girls in my neighborhood and it never really left my mind.  Girls just never liked me, maybe I was different, I am really not sure why and if I were to ask one of them now, they wouldn’t even remember how mean they were to me because to them, I am sure it was insignificant but to me, it hurt.  It is painful to have “friends” that you trust turn on you, make you feel bad about yourself, your appearance and make you feel outnumbered and alone.  That does stay with you and determine how you interact with people from then on.  I never made fun of someone, I never pulled the pranks and I never participated in deliberately making someone feel bad about themselves yet I never had a friend for very long because they always liked someone else better.  I became numb to it for a long time and always kept the women in my life at a distance but eventually, a few crept back in.  Unfortunately, I find myself not knowing how to handle it and how to maintain it.  I also find that not much has really changed since I was a kid all the years ago but I must remember to change my approach.
So, yes, girls come and they go, I remember now and it still makes me anxious and it still makes me sad.
Marilyn_Monroe_reading_and_writing