Pitiful is the person who is afraid of taking risks. Perhaps this person will never be disappointed or disillusioned; perhaps she won’t suffer the way people do when they have a dream to follow. But when the person looks back-she will hear her heart – Paulo Coelho
Lately, I have participated in the Daily Prompts, so today, it took me awhile to get going with this post. I have a hard time thinking of an interesting topic to write about that is why I like the Daily Prompts because it gets me going.
I have thought a lot about my life up until this point and the risks I never took. I realized that all those times I was playing it safe, I risked losing a completely different outcome of my life. How many roads less traveled that I turned away from that would have change the course of my entire life?
Recently, I thought back to my life in college. In my 3rd year of college, I wanted to study abroad in Italy. I researched it, filled out the forms, requested and received the recommendations from professors but I never went. I am always thinking to myself, “at what point could my life have taken a different path?” I just figured out, my choice to give up studying abroad was one of those crucial points.
If I would have left to study for a semester in Italy, I would have experienced life from a new perspective and I would be on a completely different path than I am now. I would have missed out on certain relationships, strengthened existing ones and made new ones. My love life could have dodged a few bullets and I would have different scars for different reasons. Not to say, living in Italy for a semester would have stopped me from having negative experiences but I may have learned different lessons and been around a different caliber of people.
Why didn’t I go?
I didn’t travel to Italy because I was insecure. Truth be told, I was in a very unhealthy, abusive relationship. I didn’t go because of him but I really didn’t go because of me. I realize that he could have very well influenced and threatened to end the relationship in which case he did (even though he was away at school, 3 hours from where we lived) at the time I didn’t want to jeopardize that relationship, it was the risk that really scared me. I would have went alone to place I had never been, I would have lost my boyfriend (who I had emotionally never even had) and I would have went way out of my comfort zone. So as much as I can hand out the blame to the ex, I must take ownership for my fears.
Now I sit at my desk, thinking about all the risks I didn’t take and how that risked my life to be on the path it is on. A path that I should appreciate because it is mediocre and just cutting it but a path that I don’t want to be on. I see now that sometimes you have to just jump even if you don’t know what it is you are jumping into and you can’t give anyone the power to alter your life. Take responsibility for your own decisions and decide for yourself what path you want to be on. Others are welcome to share in your ventures and your happiness if they choose but you are stuck with you so you might as well take your own side and go for it, whatever it may be.
Write whatever you normally write about, and weave in a book quote, film quote, or song lyric that’s been sticking with you this week.
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