Single Ladies


Dating, hooking up, mingling, searching, finding, loving and hating significant others, oh my!

Recently, I have had the pleasure of being the only female in a relationship out of the all my friends.  I am not sure how I feel about it but I know I have a lot of opinions about the choices of guys that all my friends pick.  I think I am going to make an official handbook on dating.  “Dating Carefullee”  We will see.

Now, let’s get down to business.  Being single seems like a lot of fun when you are in a relationship until you’re single than it’s insane.  I watch as all my friends put on their Friday and Saturday bests, practice what they are going to say, what the game plan is and scope out the scene for any half way decent looking guy that even looks in their direction.

Here’s the thing ladies, stop searching, stop looking and stop picking up guys!  There has been a lot of confusion lately with the unspoken notion that women are supposed to chase men now.  What is that about??  Woman have become so aggressive and because of that men, in turn, are definitely turned off and shy away because ladies, you are intimidating them.


A man needs to court a woman, he needs to feel like she is unavailable and when she does allow him to see her it isn’t taken for granted.  Instead, the texts and the calls, the “what are you doing later?” “I’m bored, want to come over” “let’s meet at a bar” is what women condone and participate in.  What happened to dates?  You know, the outings when a guy sets aside his personal plans and interests, requests your time, picks you up, takes you to a public place of his choice, pays and hopes that maybe you will kiss him at the end of the night but doesn’t get pissed off and think he wasted his time if you are uncomfortable with it.  No, now we have, let’s meet at this bar and hang out, come sleep over and get out.  No wonder why there is so many divorces, so many mistakes and so many broken hearts.  At the end of the day both men and women are both searching for the same thing!  A suitable companion who they can love and receive love from.

Man courting a woman
Man courting a woman

Again, I ask, where is the respect for each other?  There are so many games.  Stupid games.  Don’t get me wrong, there have been games from the beginning of time but it wasn’t this hard and it is because the roles are changing and we are losing respect for one another.  A man who really wants to date a woman goes through leaps and bounds to get her, regardless if the man looks ridiculous and you know why, because ladies, a respectable woman is worth it.

A man always keeps trying
A man always keeps trying

If you had to be a contestant on a show that offered a prize of 1 billion dollars, you would look as dumb as you had to, to win that money.  Why would this be any different?  A grown man, looks at a woman and asks himself, “Is she wife material?  Will she make a good mother? Can I trust her?” among other things I am sure but those thoughts are in there too.  So, if he knew for sure that a woman was all of those things; looking ridiculous and even being turned down at first would not stop him from claiming his prize and making his future however he envisions it.  To a man, a good woman is worth everything he has to offer and everything he has to give.  Times may change but we all have the same purposes to become one and reproduce.  The man holds his responsibilities in that and so does the woman.

The more aggressive women get, the more confused the men become.  Now, they don’t know how to act anymore because instead of pursuing a woman they are being pursued constantly which begins to make them lazy and therefore, changes the way of dating and relationships.


Men are very simple, this being said to hold no offense to men but they are visual creates, they see what they like and they either go for it or they don’t.  Don’t get me wrong, men will sleep around and not think about anything more than that at times but this is really based on the men and women who are trying to settle down and do some serious dating.

Bottom line here is, let men pursue you and YOU decide whether or not he is worth YOUR time.  Don’t win his affection, he must win yours, you are the prize here not him and believe me he knows that.  When you don’t value yourself, men sense that and that is when you get a guy who makes you believe you have to win him over.  It just isn’t so.  Women are to be won over and courted properly.  Women have lost their sense of value and respect for themselves because of how society as portrayed an independent woman.  But an independent woman can still be independent without the aggression.  A woman can still be a woman and succeed.  Many feminist and strong woman think that we don’t need men and we are okay on our own but they act as men.  Why should woman give up their rights, femininity and their entire makeup to gain independence.  A man doesn’t need to do that.  A woman can be a strong woman and still respect herself, still require respect from others and still be a pretty woman.


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