Friendship Bracelets

A friendship bracelet is a bracelet given by one person to another as a symbol of friendship.  I never had a friendship bracelet, I guess that explains why I never had too many real friends.   The word friend is defined as “a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard”.  How many people do you know who is “attached” to you by feelings or personal regard?  I do feel, however that I do have personal regard for people I associate with, sometimes too much regard which in turn, gets me in a heap of trouble.  Yes, it causes an issue to have an opposing, yet sensible opinion when put in an open discussion about a given topic.  I guess I should learn to have less regard and more verbal restraint.  But I won’t.

Growing up, I never had a lot of friends.  I was bullied a lot but when I was growing up, bullying wasn’t a big deal to anyone.  You kind of just ran home and cried or fought back then ran home and cried.  There was not much else you could have done and very rarely would parents  ever get involved with “kid stuff”.  From an early age, I could never rely on or appreciate a friendship with anyone because it was never real.  I used to get hurt by other girls and because I was alone, I would get over it and go back for more.  I thought, maybe I needed to prove to them, that I was a good friend and even though I was different, I could be a best friend.  I never got that chance as a young girl.  Til’ this very day, my image of friendship is severely skewed.  I am constantly asking myself, “is she attached to me by feeling or personal regard for me?  Does she have my best interests at heart?  Or am I convenient?  Does she value the friendship as much as I value it?”  All these technical inquiries arise and the relationship diminishes by the misconceptions that are already built-in to my psyche.

I am not sure how much value I am supposed to put into a relationship that is built on, what exactly?  You love your family because they are your blood, your heritage and apart of your overall makeup.  You love a spouse or significant other because you receive a mutual sense of love and support and eventually are able to create more love and life with that person.  With a friend, well, they fly in and out of your life.  There are no ties keeping a friend there for you.  People have friends so they can vent, hang out and what seems like, occupy them when all else fails.  I really don’t like that.

At the end of the day, I want a friendship bracelet, not because I asked for it but because someone really loves that we are friends.

 

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