Single Ladies

Women-Men-And-Love

Dating, hooking up, mingling, searching, finding, loving and hating significant others, oh my!

Recently, I have had the pleasure of being the only female in a relationship out of the all my friends.  I am not sure how I feel about it but I know I have a lot of opinions about the choices of guys that all my friends pick.  I think I am going to make an official handbook on dating.  “Dating Carefullee”  We will see.

Now, let’s get down to business.  Being single seems like a lot of fun when you are in a relationship until you’re single than it’s insane.  I watch as all my friends put on their Friday and Saturday bests, practice what they are going to say, what the game plan is and scope out the scene for any half way decent looking guy that even looks in their direction.

Here’s the thing ladies, stop searching, stop looking and stop picking up guys!  There has been a lot of confusion lately with the unspoken notion that women are supposed to chase men now.  What is that about??  Woman have become so aggressive and because of that men, in turn, are definitely turned off and shy away because ladies, you are intimidating them.

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A man needs to court a woman, he needs to feel like she is unavailable and when she does allow him to see her it isn’t taken for granted.  Instead, the texts and the calls, the “what are you doing later?” “I’m bored, want to come over” “let’s meet at a bar” is what women condone and participate in.  What happened to dates?  You know, the outings when a guy sets aside his personal plans and interests, requests your time, picks you up, takes you to a public place of his choice, pays and hopes that maybe you will kiss him at the end of the night but doesn’t get pissed off and think he wasted his time if you are uncomfortable with it.  No, now we have, let’s meet at this bar and hang out, come sleep over and get out.  No wonder why there is so many divorces, so many mistakes and so many broken hearts.  At the end of the day both men and women are both searching for the same thing!  A suitable companion who they can love and receive love from.

Man courting a woman

Man courting a woman

Again, I ask, where is the respect for each other?  There are so many games.  Stupid games.  Don’t get me wrong, there have been games from the beginning of time but it wasn’t this hard and it is because the roles are changing and we are losing respect for one another.  A man who really wants to date a woman goes through leaps and bounds to get her, regardless if the man looks ridiculous and you know why, because ladies, a respectable woman is worth it.

A man always keeps trying

A man always keeps trying

If you had to be a contestant on a show that offered a prize of 1 billion dollars, you would look as dumb as you had to, to win that money.  Why would this be any different?  A grown man, looks at a woman and asks himself, “Is she wife material?  Will she make a good mother? Can I trust her?” among other things I am sure but those thoughts are in there too.  So, if he knew for sure that a woman was all of those things; looking ridiculous and even being turned down at first would not stop him from claiming his prize and making his future however he envisions it.  To a man, a good woman is worth everything he has to offer and everything he has to give.  Times may change but we all have the same purposes to become one and reproduce.  The man holds his responsibilities in that and so does the woman.

The more aggressive women get, the more confused the men become.  Now, they don’t know how to act anymore because instead of pursuing a woman they are being pursued constantly which begins to make them lazy and therefore, changes the way of dating and relationships.

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Men are very simple, this being said to hold no offense to men but they are visual creates, they see what they like and they either go for it or they don’t.  Don’t get me wrong, men will sleep around and not think about anything more than that at times but this is really based on the men and women who are trying to settle down and do some serious dating.

Bottom line here is, let men pursue you and YOU decide whether or not he is worth YOUR time.  Don’t win his affection, he must win yours, you are the prize here not him and believe me he knows that.  When you don’t value yourself, men sense that and that is when you get a guy who makes you believe you have to win him over.  It just isn’t so.  Women are to be won over and courted properly.  Women have lost their sense of value and respect for themselves because of how society as portrayed an independent woman.  But an independent woman can still be independent without the aggression.  A woman can still be a woman and succeed.  Many feminist and strong woman think that we don’t need men and we are okay on our own but they act as men.  Why should woman give up their rights, femininity and their entire makeup to gain independence.  A man doesn’t need to do that.  A woman can be a strong woman and still respect herself, still require respect from others and still be a pretty woman.

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You Live, You Learn [Daily Prompt: We Can Be Taught!]

Daily Prompt: We Can Be Taught!.

Tell us a moment or an incident that you treasure  – not necessarily because it brought you happiness, but because it taught you something about yourself.

Photographers, artists, poets: show us LEARNING.

Life is one big moment. Each day that you wake up, you continue this moment and your keep it alive.  When I tried to think of one specific moment that I treasure that didn’t necessarily bring happiness, I couldn’t really think of one.  It is kind of difficult to think of something you treasure that may not have made you happy.  I understand the request but it was difficult.  So instead of searching my mind for that moment I decided that every day has contributed to a moment I treasure and that moment is life.  Life is the moment.  It was yesterday, it is today and it will be tomorrow.  We are constantly reminiscing about our memories, experiencing ones that soon will pass or laying the foundation for new ones.  With all that, we learn.

Everyday, no matter what we are doing, we are learning something.  So throughout life, lessons have been learned.  In school, I learned and acquired a good education.  In the streets, I learned smarts.  In the home, I learned how to interact with people and maintain relationships.  At work, I learned and learn responsibility.

Relationships and interactions have been experiences within my grand moment that I have had to learn over and over again.  Many incidents in my life have contributed to the way I respond to relationships with friends, family and lovers.  It will be my toughest battle and my greatest victory.

Whatever your moment is, enjoy it.

Alanis Morissette said it best,

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

You grieve you learn
You choke you learn
You laugh you learn
You choose you learn
You pray you learn
You ask you learn
You live you learn

Oh, What a Tangled Website We Weave [Weekly Writing Challenge: Love in the 21st Century]

Weekly Writing Challenge: Love in the 21st Century.

Although, I do not have a lot of experience with online dating or meeting guys online, I can give my thoughts on how the 21st century has affected love.  Whether you met a significant other online or on line at the grocery store, the internet’s unforgiving access to social life will interfere and I haven’t seen one case where it has interfered for the better.

Let me tell you a story about a girl who started dating a guy when America Online was the only real access we had to profiles and the outside world.   Well, when beepers were fading out and cell phones will getting the spotlight, this was perfect for young teenagers to keep tabs on their boyfriends and girlfriends because what is better than being able to call someone whenever you thought about them or find out where someone was located at all times, right?  Well that is what she thought anyway.

It started out when Billy received his very own cell phone.  Lisa knew all the people who would be contacting him on his phone since the phone was so new and they had all the same friends.  When the phone started to ring and the caller ID showed a different number, well that was a game changer.  Who was it, she thought?  Since everyone who had voice-mail at the time thought that their passwords should be the month and day of their birthdays in almost every case, it was very easy for Lisa to hear the voice-mail of the person’s call that he deliberately missed.  She came to find out it was a girl that he had met on vacation who he had been having a side relationship with for quite some time.  This is one example of how technology had interfered whereas without the cell phone, less information could be spread and figured out.

Situations had been resolved and years have passed but Lisa and Billy still maintained a relationship.  Regardless of the disaster, they tried to move on.  Now we come to the age of “MySpace” and “The Facebook” when “The” was included in its original name.  Hesitant at first, Lisa signed up for her accounts in this new world of social media.  Billy went off to college about three hours away but they remained in a relationship.  Lisa befriended mutual friends of theirs and ventured out into this world of information, profiles, picture albums, statuses, etc.  Upon her exploring the worldwide web of Facebook, she comes across a mutual friend of her and her boyfriend’s picture album that he had just posted.  There were so many pictures from recent frat parties and outings.  She browsed to see if there are any good one’s of Billy, only to find a picture of two girls posing and smiling for the shot with Billy in the far back corner of the picture kissing another girl up against the wall.  He had been caught.  He had no idea that he would be in the background of a random picture taken at a party.  Thanks to the internet, he had been caught.  Well a simple right-click and save of the picture and re-posting it on her American Online profile album with the caption, “Take a look at my slick boyfriend being caught red-handed cheating”.  Not a good day for Billy.

Well, one can only assume that the relationship was not a match made in heaven but that is here nor there.  Coming from an era where we didn’t have unlimited access into all these lives and then turning on the computer to a world of information, we can certainly see difference in relationships and how it taken a toll on love.  Whether or not, a significant other will lie or cheat is not the concerning factor but it is now brought to a brighter light for those you will now.  We see a lot more people finding out the bad behavior of others because of an internet slip up and in some cases it has ruined relationships.

In the case of Lisa and Billy, it only brought to light all the reasons why that relationship would never work.  So, you may like having more answers at your fingertips but it will come at a cost.  What we lose in the 21st century is the oldest saying in the book and in some aspects of life, it is what we really need, is the notion that “Ignorance is bliss”.

Trains and Planes and Automobiles, Oh My! [Daily Prompt: Trains, Planes, and Automobiles]

Daily Prompt: Trains, Planes, and Automobiles.

You’re going on a cross-country trip. Airplane, train, bus, or car? (Or something else entirely — bike? Hot air balloon?)

Photographers, artists, poets: show us TRAVEL.

If I was traveling cross-country, my initial thought would to take a road trip!  After thinking about all those hours in a car, I would decide that a plane would be a better choice.

plane-31_1261755576 pearl

I do not travel a lot at all but I would like to and if I had more knowledge, I think I would definitely take one of those trains I always see in the movies that have the private cabins and cute little restaurants with the most beautiful views of sky and mountains.

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Most importantly, no matter how I travel, I pray for safe travels.

Why Did You Modernize Me? [Daily Prompt: 21st Century Citizen]

Daily Prompt: 21st Century Citizen.

Do you belong in this day and age? Do you feel comfortable being a citizen of the 21st-century? If you do, explain why — and if you don’t, when in human history would you rather be?

Photographers, artists, poets: show us MODERN.

In this day and age, I feel I don’t quite fit in.  I think I would have been better off hanging out at the local jazz joints in Hoboken with Frank Sinatra and running around in my Tomboy clothes as a kid.

Today, we have so much technology to diminish our creativity and problem solving skills.  We rely on the internet and the cell phones to provide information, answers and to fill in the gaps when we are feeling less than full.  I want to go back to a time where we relied on the mind to find a solution, where there was a great feeling of fulfillment when you built knowledge and you were able to figure out something without anyone or anything’s assistance.

I want to go back to a time where life was lived without  a constant judging audience.  When people lived in small towns and worked hard to leave and make something of themselves.  A time when the dollar was valued, breaking a sweat was measured and there wasn’t a show we had to put on for others to see.  It was just me with my imperfections, no plastic surgery and no one risking all they have for vanity or fame.

Marilyn was the first sex symbol and she is wearing a one piece swimsuit.  Now sexy is tattooed nakedness.  It is gross.  At least being sexy back then, even though scandalous, it was still so damn classy.

Women have really come along way but most of the time I feel like they a few flights away from their demise.  Take a step back, try to remember that time when a man respecting you and pining over you to make his wife was SEXY!  Don’t think because a guy grabs your ass in a bar where you are half-dressed is hot or means he respects you because respect has been lost in the shuffle and actually this time men are not to blame.  We have taken it to far and we need to travel back to the road of classy, the island of respect and the pond of sexy.

I want to go back to the time when sex appeal was a dress and red lipstick.

Marilyn and Me

Marilyn and Me

Morals [Daily Prompt: Morality Play]

Daily Prompt: Morality Play.

Where do your morals come from — your family? Your faith? Your philosophical worldview? How do you deal with those who don’t share them, or derive them from a different source?

Photographers, artists, poets: show us THE SOURCE.

I believe you receive a template of what your morals should be like when you are growing up around your family.  Based on your family’s traditions, morals from your culture and faith can have a tremendous impact on how you may live and judge everyday life.  Morals can develop from your family’s principles but can strengthen or diminish as you go through your own experiences.  Experience teaches you how to feel and react in particular situations and teaches you where to apply levels of respect in your actions.

My morals developed based on the teachings of my father.  From a very young age, my father and I would take long walks and he would talk about life and how important it is to live a good, balanced one.  He instilled in me, the morals of his parents as well as what he had learned up until this point.  With learning from him, it gave me a head start or an opinion on how I should live and what my standards should be as a human being.  From there, taking in my own life experiences, religious teachings and a lot of reading I have developed my very own principles that incorporate all that I have learned along the way.

As far as, those who do not share the same morals, well if their morals or lack of morals does not directly effect my well being or the people around me than I really don’t have the need to judge them on it.  Once someone’s respect or lack of respect becomes harmful than it is time for me to step away from that situation or let it be known that my principles differ and I expect a certain level of respect to not just myself but to all people.

Where someone’s morals derive is here nor there to me as long as it doesn’t impact negatively.

Top Ten Reasons I Do Not Like My Friends’ Choice in Men.

Here are the Top Ten reasons I do not like my friends’ choice in men.

beast

  1. The “text you once then disappear” act.
  2. The “what are you doing later, want to hang out” than won’t hear from him.
  3. The “go out and get drunk, beg to sleepover and get annoyed when he isn’t” act.
  4. The “hey, I haven’t seen you, where you been? Even though the last time they spoke, he stood her up” bit.
  5. The “you knew she would be at this bar and didn’t say hi because you’re a jerk…” move.
  6. The “meet her at a bar and talk to several other girls but act like you’re the only one” thing.
  7. The “text her all day, everyday for 4 days and then disappear for 6 but ask her where she has been” stunt.
  8. The “get close to her friends so it appears you’re getting in good with her but you really just want her friend too” thing.
  9. The “you won’t follow her on any social media but will follow her friends but they are hooking up” act.
  10. The whole “you begged her to give you a chance but dropped the effort when she did” bit.

dating

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Instinct VS Technology [Daily Prompt: Ha Ha Ha]

Daily Prompt: Ha Ha Ha.

I tried to think of something really funny that may have happened to me or a funny joke that I knew of but my mind went completely blank on the subject.  Darn it!  I’d like to think I am pretty funny too but not today, apparently.

So the other day a co-worker sent me this video from YouTube and I thought it was hilarious.  Enjoy!!