A Penny Among Quarters

She sat on the bus wondering, “what is all this meant for?”  She realizes that, she, like all others will pass on and her body will one day be a lifeless science experiment.  So why isn’t she embracing life and the simplicity it has to offer?  She is wasting away at her desk, one dragging moment at a time.   Her time is being taken from her for a piece of paper that everyone will cut throats to have more of.

She is alone, no one understands her.  She begins to drift away as these thoughts swish around in my mind.

“Where there is power, there is money and where there is money, there is blood but no answers.  Power and money at the hands of someone else’ blood and not even to be able to know the answers to worldwide questions such as why we need all this and what our purpose of living is.  Religion has its vague responses and scientists have theirs.  Why are we here?  Why are generations of people coming and going?  We work our lives into the ground for no real result because at any moment, it could end and we can’t take anything with us.  So why is it important now?

Peel the onion, lift the layers and go to the core.  You are a mind and a body.  What do we NEED to survive?  Clean air, water, fuel(food), peace.  After that and before the extras, what are we supposed to do with what we are given upon birth?  Make an impact?  Why?  Believe me, I want to make an impact and do something great but why?  You can’t take anything tangible with you upon death and we don’t know if there is consciousness after death to take anything that we have learned mentally.

We are supposed to be “good people”.  Do you know why?  So we don’t jeopardize lives of other people.  We have to be safe and be trustworthy in the least amount so that the world will go round.  Every day you trust someone, whether you are conscious of it or not.  You trust the bus driver won’t just suddenly decide to drive off the bridge or drive full speed into a wall.  You trust that no one will harm you at work or when you are shopping.  You trust that no matter how rude a person will be, they most likely won’t try to harm you violently or attack you in any way.  If you didn’t trust you would like in a cave because you wouldn’t trust the workers who built your home, the people you work for or the workers who prepare the food in any setting.   We are born and raised to put our faith in other human beings like ourselves.  Why?”

Is she the first person to ask, what is the purpose?  She knows the answer is no.  She is not even the trillionth person.  From the beginning of time, there was a “you” and a “me” in every generation with thoughts that were similar.  She is not sure what she is working towards, she realizes that none of these material things, tangible things excite her.  She does not find happiness having “stuff”.  For years, she keeps asking herself, “Why can’t I be happy?”  She may have realized that working her life into the ground to get material things is not her idea of a fulfilling life.  She needs something different.  She doesn’t want objects but what does she want?  She can’t figure out what will bring her happiness because right now all she is brought is pain and heartache.  She also realizes that this pain and heartache is a waste of time because what is it for?  How does this benefit any purpose that her life might have?  She has so many questions that will forever go unanswered.

She thinks to herself, something must change in her life.  She needs to do something drastic.  She needs to do something that makes her feel her worth.  Right now, her self worth appears to be as much as a penny does among quarters.

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