She looks in the mirror everyday and sees a woman; someone she never ever recognizes. “Who are you?”
She wakes up early and turns off the morning alarm. It’s dark, cold and frustrating taking those first staggering steps to the shower. “Ahhh…!” The light is so bright and alarming. Point taken, she is awake. She likes the water a scolding hot temperature; coincidentally just how she likes her men. Always scolding her and always hot tempered. The biggest question each morning is, “should I wash my hair?” She stands under the beating water, like a continuous marching band exploring her body simultaneously. She hates routine, yet she finds herself repeating the same steps each morning that starts her long day.
He sleeps as though the world has stopped rotating, time has stood still and has allowed him to take this time to rest, even if just a few hours a night. She gets ready, doing her hair (washed or unwashed), applying light makeup to her face and finding the right clothes to face the day. He doesn’t even move, just lightly snores into the next phase of the dream he almost never remembers.
She loves him. She notices he is there sleeping, partially jealous that she isn’t sleeping too but he has the late shift tonight so he’s “allowed”. She thinks about him as she starts off her day and has no confidence that he will give her a thought as he prepares for his day. She still loves him.
He wakes up hours later, scrambles eggs with whole milk and spinach and smothers it will only half a slice of yellow American cheese. Toasts 2 pieces of whole wheat slice bread and pours himself a glass half filled with orange juice and half filled with lemon seltzer. He sits, he eats and he thinks about all the things he is unable to say throughout the day to anyone. He thinks of all the words he will forever lock up in his mind, in his heart to avoid feeling whatever it is that he fears the most. After breakfast, he makes a list of things that he should do, on his down time, in hopes that he will feel accomplished and worth something. Unfortunately, his self worth diminishes every time he reflects on mistakes he has made in the past. Pass, is something he can’t seem to do when it comes to error.